Trouble Asking For Help?

It is sooooo hard for me to ask for help!

I’ve been doing my weekly bookwork in QuickBooks for twenty years. I have a business degree, and I (weirdly) like the linear accounting stuff (in small doses). A few months ago, I switched to QuickBooks Online (QBO) version. I continued to do my weekly process the same way, but I intuitively felt like things were not going into the accurate accounts. I discovered that it was true when I attempted to balance my accounts one morning before seeing clients. I headed off to work with the inner thoughts of “you can tackle this when you get home this afternoon.” “You’ll figure it out; you can read and follow directions.”

Well later that day, after 3 hours of EFFORTING and not getting anywhere I was super frustrated and my inner dialog had shifted to “You are getting OLD you can’t figure out this new intuitive QBO system.” “I’m sure this is easy, and you’re not good enough.” “You messed up by making the decision to switch to QBO.” The overriding theme was, “you’re not good enough.”

However, my frustration led me to the point to ASK FOR HELP. I was honestly surprised at how hard it was for me to ask for help. This showed me that even though I felt like I had healed the part of me that is ashamed to ask for help; clearly, that was not the case in this situation. Life is a process of learning, becoming aware (of the inner dialog), and asking yourself what you need.

I needed help to undo what I had done, and to learn how to do my weekly process the right way. I reached out to my wonderful CPA, Margee Claudon owner of Andaloro, Smith & Krueger, LLP and asked for help. I expressed that I would pay for getting tutored. Once I took that step I was able to give myself permission to go jump in my pool. Ironically I realize that Margee’s facebook page for her business is “thanks for askin” check it out if you need some accounting tips:

When I jumped in I was still feeling super frustrated, and I started to swim laps. I was very much in my analytical/linear left side of brain. I was spinning the “I’m not good enough” story with each lap. I was pushing myself to swim harder/faster. Then I realized jumping in the pool was intended to be my reward, my release, my play time. I also recognized that as I was pushing myself to swim I had fear thoughts of “what if I hit my head on the edge of the pool….” This is when I became super aware of how out of flow I was with myself. I never have thoughts like this in the water. Anyone who knows me well, knows that I’m part mermaid and feel completely at ease in the water.

It was at this point of awareness that I knew I could not “think” myself out of this spiral of shame, blame, and fear. I needed to change my current pattern in my body to be able to shift my thoughts. What did I do? I stopped swimming laps and went into the deep end and dove deep, and did summersaults, and spiraled around. My body experienced the fluidness of moving for fun, and this switched my thinking into letting go. My thoughts switched into more gratitude. I acknowledged myself for asking for help and for witnessing how hard it was. The gift was my amazing CPA completely came through, fixed my errors, and taught me how to navigate the QBO waters.

Susie Raymond
Emotional Empowerment Life Coach, Reiki Master/Teacher, Esthetician,
Breath work Teacher


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By Appointment Only Tuesday Through Saturday

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