How I shifted the "should" to "want"

What stops me from writing a blog and sharing a part of me? The belief that my mind/ego/lower self has created: “What do I have to share?” “Who am I to blog?” Recently I experienced my mind judging what I plan to write and shutting me down before I even began. Have you ever had a desire and then your mind talks you out of it with some dialog that boils down to “you're not good enough, who are you to go for your desire?”
 
I got to battle with this over the Fourth of July weekend. I was contemplating freedom and all that it means to me and at the same time I was not allowing myself to be fully free to enjoy the time off of work, the time with family, the time just hanging out in my kayak. Why? Because I had this pre-determined commitment to myself to blog weekly.  My desired commitment to share became a heavy obligation and the little voice inside my head kept saying “what are you going to share? Who will read this?  You aren’t good enough.”  I call this little voice my ‘lower self’ or my ‘ego self’.  It is not a bad thing, it is a part of each of us, it’s our human experience.  I’ve built a relationship with my ego and I dialog with it. I’ve learned to not judge it. However sometimes it gets the better of me. These thoughts stopped me from writing.
 
My commitment to these blog posts is to only write when I feel inspired, and my desire is to write weekly.  However my inspiration to write does not follow a calendar.  So the pressure to ‘GET ‘ER DONE’ from the ego completely blocked the inspiration of the heart. 
 
I got to look at how I choose to navigate that choice between “I have to write a blog.” And “I want to write a blog.” 
 
We all have situations in our lives of things we have to do and things we want to do. When you give yourself permission to be free, to enjoy the moment, to be present you begin to notice details in life that create a richness of life. You are nourishing yourself with a sense of freedom in your thoughts. How do you nourish the act of giving yourself permission to be present? I will answer this in my next blog post, "permission to play!"
 
My commitment to myself and to you regarding this blog is:  I will write only when inspired. If it feels tried or hard I will step away and trust that it will feel easy and joyful. I will trust in the timing of each of my blogs vs. a hard and fast schedule.
 
Think about anything that you might currently view as hard, or that you’re resisting and ask yourself the following questions…

  1. What am I currently believing about myself that is making this task hard?
  2. Is that belief really true, and what would I rather believe?
  3. What one thing could I say/think/or do for myself to help me believe the new truth?
  4. What one small step can I take to move in that direction?

 
I welcome any feedback or comments on these steps and how they have helped you. I have to laugh at myself. Over the weekend as I was feeling stuck, I started multiple different blogs, nothing felt right. Now I just ‘GOT ‘ER DONE’ in less than an hour.  Why, because I allowed the heart to speak without the judgment of the mind. Your heart is holding the answers.  When you feel stuck, quiet the mind and ask the heart “What is the desire?”
 
Sending you big blessings. May you find a moment today to simply be, and notice your heart's desire.  

Susie Raymond
Emotional Empowerment Life Coach, Reiki Master/Teacher, Esthetician, Breath work Teacher